I was thinking recently about the version of myself at twenty-five and how differently she viewed the world.
At that age, life felt far more urgent than it does now. Everything seemed to carry enormous weight. Every decision felt permanent. Every setback felt significant. Every milestone felt as though it would determine the direction of the rest of my life. I remember constantly looking ahead, convinced that the answers existed somewhere in the future. If I worked hard enough, achieved enough and made enough good decisions, eventually I would arrive at a place where everything felt clear. There would be certainty. There would be confidence. There would be a sense of having figured things out.
What I couldn’t see then was that most people never arrive at that place.
The people I admired, the people I thought had all the answers, were often navigating uncertainty just like everyone else. They simply became more comfortable carrying it.
Looking back, I think one of the biggest surprises of adulthood is realising that life doesn’t become more predictable as you get older. In many ways, it becomes more complex. The difference is that experience teaches you that uncertainty isn’t something that needs to be eliminated before you move forward. It’s simply part of the journey.
At twenty-five, I spent far too much time worrying about timing. I worried about whether I was ahead or behind. I compared my progress to other people. I compared my career, my relationships, my finances and my life to what I believed everyone else was achieving. At the time, it felt completely reasonable. Looking back, I realise how little those comparisons actually mattered. The older I’ve become, the more I’ve seen how different people’s lives really are. Everyone is carrying circumstances, responsibilities, opportunities and challenges that nobody else fully understands. What appears to be an advantage from the outside often comes with sacrifices you can’t see. What appears to be a setback sometimes becomes the very thing that shapes a person’s future in positive ways.
If I could tell my younger self one thing, it would probably be to stop treating life like a race. So much energy gets wasted worrying about whether you’re moving at the same speed as everyone else. The reality is that there is no universal timeline. Some people find love early. Some find it later. Some build successful businesses in their twenties. Others don’t discover their calling until much later in life. Some people seem to move quickly and then plateau. Others spend years building foundations before everything suddenly accelerates. Looking back now, the idea that everyone should reach the same milestones at the same age feels strangely unrealistic.
I also wish I had understood how quickly life moves. At twenty-five, ten years feels like an incredibly long time. You assume there will always be plenty of opportunities to do the things you’re postponing. There will always be time to travel, time to take risks, time to spend with people you care about and time to pursue the ideas sitting quietly in the back of your mind. Then somehow the years pass. The children grow up. Businesses evolve. Friendships change. Entire chapters close without announcing that they’re ending. The older I get, the more I appreciate the importance of being present for the stage of life you’re currently living instead of constantly waiting for the next one.
One of the lessons that took me the longest to learn was that success doesn’t create the feelings people expect it to create. When I was younger, I imagined that certain achievements would bring a lasting sense of confidence or security. I assumed there would be moments where everything suddenly felt complete. What I’ve discovered instead is that life continues much as it always has. You achieve a goal, celebrate briefly and then your attention shifts towards something else. New opportunities appear. New challenges emerge. New questions replace old ones. Success can absolutely improve your life, but it doesn’t remove uncertainty, insecurity or self-doubt. Those things tend to travel with you regardless of where you go.
Looking back, I can also see how much energy I wasted worrying about things that never happened. I worried about failure. I worried about making mistakes. I worried about what people might think if things didn’t work out. Experience has taught me that most people are far less focused on our lives than we imagine. Everyone is busy navigating their own challenges, ambitions and insecurities. The fear of judgement often exists far more vividly in our minds than it does in reality. Some of the best decisions I’ve made came after I stopped seeking permission from people who weren’t living my life.
If there’s one thing I wish I understood at twenty-five, it’s that life isn’t something you solve. It’s something you experience. The goal isn’t to eliminate uncertainty, avoid mistakes or perfectly predict the future. The goal is to keep moving forward, remain open to what unfolds and trust that many things will make sense only when viewed through the lens of time. Looking back now, some of the moments that felt confusing while I was living them became the very experiences that shaped the life I’m most grateful for today.